Reflections on Orange
by Xengo
Summary: One night after a mission, Krystal holds Fox while he sleeps, musing about him and how the two of them got to where they are now.


Whitefur has inspired me to try something in first person! And in a more stream-of-consciousness style. I hope you all like it! If you didn't like it, tell me why. This is an experiment, after all.

Good night everyone, and God bless. I hope you all like the warm and fuzzies! Please read and review!

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Reflections on Orange

It's late at night right now. A night after a mission, and I'm in my room, cuddling Fox to my chest as he sleeps soundly. His head is nestled into my bosom, and his breathing is relaxed, rhythmic. He feels safe. I'm scratching between his ears, smiling tenderly at him. This is the kind of moment between the two of us that I treasure, a quiet moment in our active and dangerous lives.

The only sound in the room besides our breathing is the ambient hum of the Great Fox. It's warm and toasty in my room, temperature-wise. Resting after a mission on Fichina-goddesses-forsaken ball of ice that it is-means turning up the warm air on the ship's AC. This in turn means wonderful cuddling, and a wonderful time for thinking.

Ah, Fox McCloud. My Foxy.

You know, people who have only seen the professional, stoic exterior of Fox might find this scene of the two of us cuddling unusual. Fox is close against me, listening to my heartbeat as it lulls him to sleep; it's a very vulnerable moment for Lylat's greatest hero, the stalwart Fox McCloud, leader of perhaps the greatest band of mercenaries the galaxy has ever seen.

Those people do not know the Fox I know. They do not know the Fox underneath the professional persona he has. Underneath this exterior is a warm, vulnerable, and tender man. A little melancholy too. But above all else, kind and sincere.

It's something of a miracle. That someone who does what Fox does can have a big heart. I wonder if people would believe me if I told them about this.

He sneezes in his sleep, and I have to suppress an "awww" as my smile grows wider.

Thinking about him like this makes me remember how we met, and how crazy it is that I'm here right now, happy with him. Considering what had happened to me before that meeting, it's inconceivable that I would have the chance to be this happy, or that I could ever be happy again.

When I lost my planet-my family, my people, my home-and looked upon its remains from my ship, part of me died. I was convinced that I would never be happy again. What was left for me? Of course, I planned to search for answers and find out who had done this terrible thing, but I had little idea of what would come after that. I just wanted answers. Anything. Why my home? Why my people? Why me?

That search-after I had learned that only a few of my people still remained-led me to Sauria, thanks to a distress signal. And I found Fox there.

Hmm. My friends have asked me when, exactly, I fell in love with Fox. Honestly? As trite as this may sound, I fell head over heels for this orange furball cuddling close to me right now as soon as I saw him, right when he pulled me up after saving me from my crystal prison atop Krazoa Palace.

At first it was his eyes.

Fox has beautiful eyes. Whenever I tell him that, he's quick to blush and say my own eyes are so much greater. He sells himself short. Those eyes of his...when I first glimpsed them, I was drawn. There was a warrior's edge to them, but also a softness that was inviting and comfortable. Even then, I could tell there was so much to Fox McCloud.

But most striking was his mind.

Taking a peek into someone's mind, even a small peek, is a wonderful way to learn about someone. Us Cerinians are thankful for our powers. The moment I touched his mind, I was stunned by how warm and welcoming it was to my mental presence. No fear at all, just a subconscious welcome. A yearning for more of me, even.

I was quite enamored and interested in that orange mercenary.

So of course I wrenched my staff away from him and began firing away at Andross, the mad scientist from Lylat who was responsible for my suffering. I told myself I would thank him later-and apologize for the first impression-and once the fighting was over, I piloted my ship up to the Great Fox and formally introduced myself.

I got my first blush from Fox that day. Goddesses, he's always been adorable like that.

Then reality came knocking. I had found out who had destroyed my planet. I had my answers. And now...what? I didn't have the first idea of what I wanted to do. Fox asked me what was wrong, and I only told him enough to let him know that I had no where to go, and no home to speak of.

Fox gently took my head, and told me while blushing furiously that I could come with the team back to Corneria, and he could help me. Get supplies, find a home, anything.

He wanted me to stay. I could sense it. His attraction was obvious, and fortunately for him, the attraction was very much mutual. Fox had freely offered me a place to stay, and I almost couldn't believe his kindness. His concern was entirely genuine.

I wouldn't be alone anymore to wonder the stars. And now...

Well, the rest is history.

His ears are twitching in his sleep again. I love it when he does that.

What followed afterword? Well, it's a blur to me now. Going to Corneria, living with Fox, Star Fox training…again, it feels like a wild blur. Going from an orphaned wonderer to a mercenary with fire-forged companions. What I can recall is the amount of thinking I did, however. Make no mistake; there was a lot of thinking. Of course I was grateful for Fox taking me to Corneria, but being in a new world made me think of the overwhelming question of, "what next?" Keep in mind all this thinking happened before I joined the team. Where would I work? Where I go? What was to happen to me now?

If it weren't for Fox and his friends…at the risk of sounding sappy, I don't where I would be without them. My boys.

Let me back up a little. The beginning of my relationship with Fox started during that first trip to Corneria from Sauria. We were both eager to get to know one another. As shy as Fox was back then, there was still many a night where he walked to my quarters and to talk to me. Just as there were plenty of nights where I walked to his quarters to talk to him. We got to know each other pretty quickly during those days. We learned that we loved to talk to one another, and we felt comfortable being close.

One of my fascinations with Fox early on was, of course, his mind. Why did it feel so warm? And welcoming? I knew that I felt something when I first saw him-at the time I didn't exactly recognize it as love at that point-and I wondered if I was really in love. Maybe this was all hero worship? That did cross my mind.

And yet, as we met more and talked more, I was drawn in by him. He didn't act like the typical hero. He was shy, a little quiet at times, but he was kind and gentle. Earnest in making sure I was comfortable on the ship. He was really so cute to, always blushing when I smiled at him or giggled, staring down at his feet or twiddling his thumbs. I wanted more, to be closer to him.

We were fast friends, before we knew it. And I began to understand that, yes, I did love him.

Once we landed in Corneria, I asked if I could stay with him in his apartment. I didn't want to live on my own at that time after being alone for a while. And, of course, I wanted to be near him.

His blushing and stuttering at my request, with the hidden happiness he radiated when he said yes, was the first of many treasured memories.

I actually told Fox about my planet and what Andross did to me during that first trip on the Great Fox.

I hadn't fully explained what had happened to me. And...I had never talked about it the way I needed to before that point.

Fox told me about his parents to help me open up. He talked to me about James, his father, the hero and inspiration. How Andross took his father away from him by getting a close friend to betray him. His mother...at the time, Fox only told me that Andross took Vixy too when he was a child. To this day, his mother is a poignant subject to him. That he even told me anything about her at all was a sign that he did want to help me talk about my tragedy.

To think that madman took both his parents away so violently...

So I did open up to him. About the invasion of Cerinia, about my parents dying to save me, about watching it be destroyed from space.

I cried a lot that night in his arms. I learned just how safe I could feel when he held him, and I felt a weight leave my shoulders.

Fox isn't dreaming at the moment. He's in a dreamless sleep, a deep one. That last mission must have tuckered him out quite a bit. Not that I'm bright-eyed and bushy-tail myself, but this long week of work must have caught up to Fox quite dramatically.

I lightly touch his forehead and close my eyes, focusing my mind. I slip a pleasant dream into his mind, and open my eyes to see him smiling softly and snuggling into my chest more. I giggle lightly.

So precious.

That's another small miracle. Fox is quite comfortable with my powers. As long as his privacy is respected where it should be, anything goes. From small, cute telepathic conversations to exciting, sexual escapades. There's no such thing as a boring sex life with a telepath, I'm proud to say. The ride is always wild with me and my Foxy-Woxy.

Dream Planting is one of my favorite things to do him, and he loves it. Nothing like spicing up a boring dream and making it exciting. Many a night has passed with Fox needing to change the sheets in the morning. Sometime I go all the way and project myself into his dreams-this is known as Dream Diving-taking control of the dream and playing with him. Sometimes I make this playing risqué, shall we say. Other times, serene and comfortable. Fox does love dream cuddles.

Another favorite technique of mine is pouring a stream of raw affection into his mind. Never fails to make him weak in the knees; Foxy just melts when I do this. I can hold him on the couch and do this to him, and he's reduced to a blob of whining and purring. I scratch and pet him in all the right places-Fox's number one itchy spot is his chin-and he'll kick his leg. We can do this for however long he likes, while I whisper sweet nothing's into his ear.

I do have a vixenly side-for obvious reasons-and sometimes I'll use my powers to project an image into the forefront of his mind. A rather...hot image, shall we say. Sometimes of me in a bikini, or something more explicit. Sometimes it absolutely gets his libido going, and the Orange Stallion Express starts moving and I am its willing passenger.

Another way I've used Dream Planting or Dream Diving is helping Fox with nightmares. This is actually how those techniques became his favorites. I first used this to help him when he had a nightmare about his mother's death. In it, he was a little boy again, crying over the charred and mutilated corpse of his mother while the looming shadow of Andross laughed at him. I rushed to him, wrapping him in an embrace. I casted a hateful glare at the shadow, which broke it to pieces. For the rest of the night, he clung to me while I held him in the dream, rubbing his back and telling him he was okay.

This was actually the way I learned the most about his mother's death. That bastard actually planted a bomb in James' car to kill him so he could have Vixy for himself. Vixy's car had broken down, and...

Never in my life will I hate someone as much as I hate Andross.

The tragedy Fox went through in his life makes him a guarded person, opening up only to those he trust or feels he can trust. Even from early on, Fox thought he could confide in me. The hurt in our lives is something that drew us so close together.

Fox is a straightforward person. He's sincere, and when he talks to me, that becomes outright vulnerability. He's very open with me. When we have our intimate talks, Fox doesn't hide anything. Bares his soul. Maybe that's why he's not afraid of my powers. He finds them a comfort; I can use them to understand him more than others can. It's…something that makes me feel blessed.

Now he's really fallen asleep. He's in for a nice bit of rest, for sure.

Following the Aperoid Invasion-the most recent mass conflict that Lylat has gone through-me and Fox moved so much closer. His little slip up on Sauria about wanting to marry me was more than enough evidence to let me know that Fox wanting something very meaningful in our relationship. And I couldn't be happier. I wanted that kind of meaning.

From that point on, he became so much more intimate. Emotionally and physically. Fox being Fox, things moved slowly at first. But when they picked up, it was wonderful. Part of the wonderful being discovering new ways to make Fox melt. I discovered all the places to touch him, all that things to excite him, whether it was rubbing him just the right way or getting his muzzle between my breasts.

And you know, Fox is quite forward when the clothes come of! He knows all of my right places too, I shall say. Oh, does he know.

All of this is pleasant to think about. Now, though, my thoughts move towards one of the most significant moments of our relationship thus far. Ah, yes. A moment that came unexpectantly. It was the moment that Fox asked me to leave Star Fox.

I had an accident some time after the Aperoid Invasion. Nothing terribly serious. I did come out with some burns, but it wasn't anything a trip to the Great Fox's infirmary couldn't handle.

From that point until he talked to me, Fox was troubled. I could feel it clear as day. And he didn't come to talk to me about what he was feeling. This frustrated me to no end—it always frustrates me when Fox doesn't come to me quickly for help—but I knew I needed to be patient. I hoped he would talk to me sooner rather than later.

Finally, one day he called me in, and the fear and worry in his mind and on his face was telltale. Gently, I asked him what was wrong.

Wearily, he told me to leave the team.

I just stared at him.

Was I upset? Goodness, yes. Star Fox was my home! I walked up to him, bluntly stating that no, I was not leaving, how could he ever ask that of me? I'd told him numerous times that I was afraid of losing this home. I may not have raised my voice, but I might as well have been yelling considering how upset I was.

Then I realized something.

The levels of worry and anxiety and fear had spiked in his mind; those thought patterns were loud and clear, and stopped me mid-sentence. His gaze was weary and fretful; black circles under his eyes, and I could see he was shaking a little. Gradually I calmed down, and considered the gravity of what Fox was asking me. Fox knew more than anyone how important Star Fox was to me, as my home and family.

Something was very, very wrong.

So, I took his hands and mine, and told him to tell me what was wrong.

What followed was a long and tearful explanation from Fox. He was terrified of me dying. Ever since we'd gotten closer, he'd felt more anxious about my life. Me dying was the worst possible thing for him, a nightmare he couldn't bear to think about but was always on the tip of his mind during missions. He'd managed his fear up to this point, but my accident had pushed him over the edge. He rambled at times during this talk; the panic was clear.

He would not lose another person that he loved. He begged me to leave. He gave me the key to his apartment and a credit chip, saying he would support me in whatever I wanted to do, as long as I didn't stay here, in danger. He was shaking, I remember.

I almost, almost, gave in. The way he looked at me made my heart ache for him. But, I put my hand on his cheek and told him no. I wasn't leaving.

Then he told me it had to be him.

If one of us was to die it was going to be him. He was not going to lose another person important to him. No one he loved was going to die because of his carelessness in a mission. My life, he told me, was so much more important than his. If one of us had to stay in danger and risk their lives, he would do it. I was more important.

This is the scariest thing Fox has ever told me.

I pushed back against this, now actually raising my voice. How could he think that? How did he think I would feel if he died, if I lost him? If I lost the most important person in the world to me? How could he think I could stay behind while he risked his life, without me at his side? I started crying. How could he regard his own life so poorly? I embraced him tightly, getting in his face and saying that as long as he was fighting out there, I would be right there with him. I was never leaving him.

For a few moments, none of us said anything. I expected Fox to protest, but he only looked at me tearfully. He hugged me back.

"I'm scared, Krys."

To this day I've never heard Fox sound more afraid then when said those words.

So I hugged him tighter.

I told him to imagine not being there to help me in a battle. To imagine being in a position where he couldn't help me, or couldn't come to help me fast enough.

He told me he wouldn't be able to take that. It would drive him mad. I could feel the agony of that thought in his mind.

I told him that was what he was asking of me, with telling me to leave him behind. He was asking me to stand aside while he put himself in danger.

Fox held me tighter.

"…I can't put you through that."

I stayed.

Things changed after that conversation. For the better, I believe.

We gained a new perspective on just how much we meant to one another. For me, it was a slightly scary experience, what with learning of Fox's lack of regard for his own life. I've since told him to never talk like that again. But learning how much Fox cared for me...it's a tremendous thing when you learn that someone considers your life more important than their own. Scary, but tremendous. And Fox learned that come hell or high water, I was going to be at his side.

I did change a little, myself. I've found that since then I've become more protective of Fox. Not in a smothering way, but...the best way I can describe it is that after every mission I need to hold Fox. Whether it be a simple hug or cuddle, I need him in my arms for a little bit, or maybe even a while. Just to make sure he's okay. Does that sound needy? I really don't care if it does. I just need him near me sometimes, to make sure he's okay.

Should anyone try to hurt my Fox…I will take them down, make no mistake.

I yawn. Alright, now I'm actually feeling sleepy.

Fox is still fast asleep. The covers aren't over us, but I don't have the heart to move Fox around and wake him up. He needs his sleep.

I lay down, nestling my head on top of his, breathing in his scent. I'm still holding his head to my chest, and I kiss him tenderly between the ears, before surrendering myself to sleep.


End file.
